There are no trails. There are no trees out here.

I need an Oxford English-Spanish Dictionary.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 02:19:58 GMT

Spanish - English translation:

Tuna - tuna
Aceituna - olive
Aceite - oil
Tuna verde - green cactus

Riddle me fucking that. While we're at it:

"disfrutar" is "to enjoy"

Is that because if you defruit something, you have enjoyed it?

SMS on iPod Touch

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:46:11 GMT

Is there an awesome SMS application for the iPod Touch that works with an awesome SMS service that will get you SMS messages on your iPod Touch even if you don't have a cell phone number or plan of any kind?

The Google Voice website essentially has all the features I am asking for. Is there a native app that does this? It doesn't have to work with Google Voice.

Edit: The "Peek Pronto" is a device that accomplishes what I want, but it has drawbacks.

Bird signs.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 03:00:34 GMT

A tiny raptor landed on the pavement 20 feet in front of my bike. I was commuting home on shotwell. He seemed kindof spacey. He glanced at me & flew up into a tree.

Dunno what kind of bird it was, but it was tiny and it looked mean and I've never seen anything like it.

I have been remembering my dreams lately.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:37:59 GMT

Both last night & Wednesday night, I dreamed that I was struggling to sleep.

Last night I was hanging out at a band house & couldn't find anywhere quiet to sleep, so I went outside. There was a man & woman making out in their back yard, and this immense, pale, bald-headed dude autofellating about twenty feet away from them. I found somewhere in the yard to lie down without bothering any of them. And I went to sleep.

Later, they made me join the band & play bass. The bulk of the dream was spent trying to convince someone to take my place so I could quit the band.

Wednesday night, I dreamed that I was asleep in my bedroom on a train car and the train kept rocking me awake. I awoke, in my dream, to the sound of rain driving against the bedroom windows.

Ben Donley of San Francisco on the web

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:27:53 GMT

Steve said that he wanted me to update post links to my flickr so that he would know how to check it.

Here is my flickr, and here is my flickr rss feed. This is usually iPhone pictures (every one is awesome) & very occasionally dumps of party pictures (which are usually... uh... skimmable).

Also, I rarely post links to awesome things on the web here in my LJ anymore. That is because I post them on my google reader shared items page. Here is the RSS for my google reader shared items, if you are into that kind of thing but not a Friend in my Google Reader.

<&

Someone did this to me in a dream.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:18:26 GMT

Make a fake antique bust of a creepy old man.
Make a fake antique poster with a drawing of the same creepy old man.
Create a moderately authoratative looking web page describing a long dead Carpathian king.
Give it a totally unique, Carpathian sounding name.
Put that name on your poster.
Put that poster in your abandoned, darkened storefront.
Put the bust behind the poster
When you get a hit on your website referred from a search for the totally unique name,
quickly raise the bust above the poster.

More fun with SSIS deployment

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 20 May 2009 00:37:31 GMT

So you're trying to deploy a SQL Server Integration Services package to a 2005 server, but you recently installed SQL Server 2008? Not behaving nicely?

I get this error, over and over again:

Full text:

TITLE: Package Installation Wizard
------------------------------

Could not save the package "C:\ss\SSIS\Control-Import GLPMF_CSH.root\Control-Import GLPMF_CSH\Control-Import GLPMF_CSH\bin\Deployment\Control Import GLPMF_CSH 2005.dtsx" to SQL Server "kci-marts".

------------------------------
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Storing or modifying packages in SQL Server requires the SSIS runtime and database to be the same version. Storing packages in earlier versions is not supported.

------------------------------
BUTTONS:

OK
------------------------------

Thanks, ass. It's NOT an earlier version! This is a 2005 package! It should be aces, right? Well, you think you're using the 2005 tools, but you're not. Your first clue that something is going wrong is here:

That's version 10, when you are supposed to be using the version 9 tools.

Here's what fixed it for me:

If you have any idea how to make this sensical (changing the path, as per this article, did nothing) to me, I would hugely appreciate that. Actually, if you can tell me how to fix the guts behind that "open with" menu in general, I will give you a little kiss.

shirt garters

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:43:17 GMT

The ones I got are poorly conceived. I went with the cheapest brand. They do not have a Y shape, and they are not adjustable. That means they are taut all the time, which is stupid. The goal is not to have your shirt appear pulled-on. The point is for it to stay tucked in.

:|

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:51:23 GMT

Gabriell: I wanted to make chicken meatball soup
me: I think that's called matzoh ball soup.
Gabriell: No that is different
me: Are you allowed to make meatballs out of chicken?
Gabriell: Of course
Sent at 2:47 PM on Friday
me: Do you have to use chicken that is made out of cows?
Gabriell: Tiny, feathery cows that lay eggs

fuck yes shirt garters. I'm getting ten.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:05:52 GMT

http://www.shirtgartersinc.com/

I knew there was some way to begin fetishizing business casual. Who's into sagging, faded polo shirts? Sexually.

Update: ordered three pairs

today on minutiae theater - my favorite mustard

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 20:06:32 GMT

Two or three months ago, my favorite sandwich shop stopped offering dijon mustard on their sandwiches. Were they

eliminating an already unpopular option due to the declining economy and a need to cut costs?
eliminating a more expensive option due to the declining economy and a need to cut costs?
responding to a decline in demand for dijon mustard?

If the answer is #3…

Are the sandwich eaters of the financial district avoiding dijon mustard because it is associated with Rolls Royce limousine passengers, and they feel guilty about their wealth?
Are we dijon eaters a special class of financial district douchebag that have fared differently in, or responded differently to this recession, and thus ordered fewer sandwiches?

Maybe I should ask.

Poor Saddleback Church.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 01:10:35 GMT

Saddleback Church will lose.

my stupid hat

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 01:19:27 GMT

2009 is going to be when consequences come due. It could be a great year, if the consequences are faced and they're survivable. If we act like we did in 2007 & 2008, we'll be proper fucked within the year. And we might be fucked no matter what we do.

I've been reading financial news, so. But I also think this applies to me personally.

Black Tie Break Dance

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 08:11:31 GMT

via paxa_minsk.

He's been on vacation.

Pete and the Pirates

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:49:04 GMT

It's so cold this morning my breath comes out like steam
I got up in such a hurry I'm still stuck inside my dream
I can hide behind sunglasses it's not as bad as it seems

Don't sell the car just rob a bank or a corner shop
You'll get some excitement in the papers in the car with the cops
They'll feed you in prison and they'll paint your portrait in the docks

And you can run away
Run away from the edge

You feel low you get high you'll end up somewhere in between
You've had a very good weekend but you can't remember where you've been
You can hide behind sunglasses it's not as bad as it seems

You've got a black hole in your eye and it's fixed on me
I've got a sink of hot water to wash my cold face clean
I keep trying to forget that she doesn't belong to me
I keep trying to forget that she doesn't belong to me

What is your favorite kind of mechanical pencil?

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 22:33:51 GMT

Today is my day for public nerdiness.

I prefer fine-point felt tip pens for most things, but now I have new dweeby purposes that require erasing. My favorite pencils are wooden & read "DARNTON AND HERSH FINE VIOLINS", but I would like something that I can safely throw in a pocket.

Bic pencils work pretty well but are not refillable & do not feel super excellent.

I got a cross pen & pencil combo for my bar mitzvah, and I remember distinctly that it stopped working after a few months. They twist to extend lead, and the twisting just made it jitter & no lead. Eff that.

Does anyone have a mechanical pencil that makes them feel like Le Pen by Marvy makes me feel?

When you are deleting spam messages in gmail because it feels so satisfying:

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:46:21 GMT

Sometimes, when I need to do something to calm down, I will check my spam folder for false positives.

My first email from my friend Anne, six years ago when we re-caught-up after college, went to spam and I never woulda noticed if I didn't have this occasional habit, so. Also, new developments in spam are totally hilarious and fascinating to me.

Every time I've done this, I click "Select: All" & "Delete Forever" a few times in succession, because there are no false positives aside from Anne. Across the top of the screen it says something like "1 - 25 of 3611".

But it alternates between showing 25 or 20 messages per screenfull.

1 - 25 of 3587
1 - 20 of 3562
1 - 25 of 3542
1 - 20 of 3517

WHY? THIS IS THE FOUNT OF MY MADNESS.

If you leave the spam box, it remembers the amount of messages it was showing you. However, if you click "Older >>" to view more messages, it skips you to "26-50 of 3517". It will always show you 25 message chunks when you page forward, even if you were only looking at 20, as if you were looking at 25. Skipping 5 potentially excellent spam messages! Why?! If you page forward in *any* mailbox & return to the front page of your spam box, it reverts to showing you 25 messages.

I could go on. If you have any further questions on the details of this quirk, just ask. Unfortunately my curiosity (WHY?!?!) is a little hard to satisfy on this subject, because googling "gmail 20 25" obviously isn't going to get me very far, and I am not sure whether anyone else on the planet gives a flying eff.

My best guess is that it is part of some brilliant user-interface coup, or it is for defeating robots.

Slumdog Millionaire

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:33:32 GMT

There's a new Danny Boyle movie in theaters.

Please don't tell me anything about it. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad...

http://www.fandango.com/slumdogmillionaire_115687/movietimes?location=94104

Want to go? Saturday early afternoon?

Richie Havens is stuck in my head.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:05:51 GMT

What is a quintissentially Minnesotan beverage?

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:33:31 GMT

Nate Silver says that Minnesota's senate race is the only real tossup. If they elect Al Franken to the Senate of the United States of America, I would like to make a toast to Minnesota.

What is the appropriate beverage?

(Edit 10am Wednesday morning: Dangit, Minnesota. If Utah hadn't pissed me off so badly this election, I'd go vegan in protest. For a week, maybe.)

There is this expensive buffet near work

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:51:41 GMT

There is this expensive buffet near work called "Julie's Kitchen" that is where I get my Daily Recommended Intake of brussel sprouts. You can also get beef, salmon, & various sushi rolls at the same per-pound rate, like $8 or $9. So they are making a fortune off me.

Unless I guess the weight of my meal to the 100th of a pound. In that case it is free.

I have done this successfully the past three times I've gone there. They don't even bother to ring you up at the register when you win. They just give you a high five. Best thing ever. It means that no one can talk to me for the rest of the day because I think I'm such a goddamned genius.

oh this world was made for

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 16:25:39 GMT

midi face

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:42:23 GMT

vlad and friend boris presents 'Song for Sarah'

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:23:17 GMT

Thanks to somnambulisa.

Get Your War On has been producing weekly animated shorts.

judgmentalist@gmail.com — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:03:37 GMT

They are fucking awesome and there's 11 of them. Watchable in any order.

http://video.236.com/services/link/bcpid1612766543/bctid1803923789

You are welcome.